In my previous post the top 32 dumbest athletes were selected and bracketed against each other. The 1st week of March Madness is over and the Sweet 16 is set. There were some tremendous upsets and bracket busters like the #1 Kansas Jayhawks losing to the #9 Northern Iowa Panthers, 14th seed Ohio Bobcats knocking out the #3 Georgetown Hoyas and #10 Saint Mary’s Gaels taking down #2 Villanova Wildcats. Others that were supposed to did just that and took care of their business and have moved on like most predicted they would.

While all this was going on another kind of March Madness was taking place. 32 of the dumbest athletes ever were battling it out for the right to move on and claim their right as the dumbest athlete of all time. After some debate and taking into consideration the comments left by the fans the cream is starting to rise to the top and their respective Sweet 16 is set too.

Sweet 16

Eastern Regional

#1 Mike Tyson

Tyson bit off part of Evander Holyfield’s ear during a rematch in 1997. Convicted of rape and served 3 years of incarceration. Had to declare bankruptcy in 2003 even though he made over 300 million during his boxing career. In 2003 Tyson decided get part of his face tattooed.

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4 Big Ben Roethlisberger

Ben decided riding a motorcycle without a helmet was a good move, but unfortunately he was in a bad accident that banged him up, fractured a few bones and required surgery, but he was lucky by all accounts. Big Ben had also been involved in not one, but 2 sexual assault cases. “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.”

#3 Adam “Pacman” Jones

2005 Jones was in an altercation at a nightclub, which lead to assault and felony vandalism. In 2006 he was arrested for disorderly conduct and public intoxication. Jones was questioned about a shooting that occurred at a strip club in 2007 during the NBA All-Star break. The NFL finally suspended him for the 2007 season. In 2008 Jones was reinstated by the NFL, but he was later suspended for getting into an alcohol related scuffle with his own personal bodyguard.

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#7 John Daly

In a word: alcoholism. Daly has admitted to be friends with Jack Daniels and hanging at the Better Ford Clinic, because of it. He has admitted to losing $50 to $60 millions dollars gambling. Daly’s idea of a weight loss program consists of Diet Coke and cigarettes.  Here’s the icing on the cake, Daly has been married not once, not twice, not three, but four times.

Southern Regional

#1 Tiger Woods

Nothing needs to be said here.

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#4 Dwight Gooden

A truly gifted athlete and he sniffed it away, Gooden would have made Scarface proud. Gooden tested positive for cocaine in 1986 and the problem surfaced throughout much of his career. Gooden also had some Daly in him and he was finally incarcerated in 2006 by his on admission.

#2 Daryl Strawberry

Arrested in 1999 for soliciting sex from a police officer. He also had a small amount of cocaine on him…whoops my bad. In 2000 he was arrested at gunpoint after blacking out and rear ending someone. He tried to hit and literally run, but an off duty officer watched it all go down. Strawberry has been in and out of rehab clinics like Socal teenage boys go through Tijuana hookers.

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#3 Plaxico Burress

Police have responded to multiple domestic disturbances at his home. In 2008 Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg. To add insult to injury charges were filed for criminal possession of a handgun.  In 2009 he accepted a plea deal that sent him to the big house for 2 years.

Northern Regional

#1 Michael Vick

“Who Let the Dogs Out?” Enough said.

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#4 Tonya Harding

Harding has had a few weird incidents in her life, but the stupidest one is how she was related to the attack of rival skater Nancy Kerrigan. Harding’s ex husband and bodyguard hired  a thug to attack Kerrigan.

#2 OJ Simpson

Nothing needs to be said.

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#3 Maurice Clarett

Ohio State running back that was supposed to be the one. Instead of just running the ball at Ohio, he attempted to challenge the NFL’s rule that players must wait 3 years after leaving high school, which he lost, so he wasn’t able to take part in the 2004 NFL Draft. Clarett also signed with an agent, so the NCAA refused to reinstated him. The year off took its toll and he was never the same player.

Western Regional

#1 Ron Artest

Artest is a headcase in many ways, but he will forever be remembered for the brawl during a Pacers vs Pistons game. The brawl started on the court, but Artest went into the stands and another brawl started and Artest ended up punching a fan.

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#4 Ricky Williams

Ricky and Cheech and Chong have a common denominator, but for me posing on ESPN magazine in a wedding dress with then head coach Mike Ditka was a very bad decision. Nothing good came out of it, but yet he did it.

I was going to wear a suit and tie, but I got… Afroman.

#2 Rae Carruth

Carruth was sentenced for 18 to 24 years for conspiracy to commit murder, shooting into an occupied vehicle, and using an instrument to destroy an unborn child. WTF, it was his girlfriend and unborn child.

Note to pro athlete with money, just pay the child support. It ain’t that bad.

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#3 Pete Rose

Liar. Enough said.

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Round of 32 – Results


Eastern Regional

#1 Mike Tyson vs #8 Bob Probert

#2 Chris Henry vs #7 John Daly

#3 Adam “Pac Man” Jones vs #6 Bam Morris

4 Big Ben Roethlisbergervs #5 Antonie Walker



Southern Regional

#1 Tiger Woods vs #8 Bill Gramatica

#2 Daryl Strawberry vs #7 Jamal Lewis

#3 Plaxico Burress vs #6 Gilbert Arenas

#4 Dwight Gooden vs #5 Elizabeth Lambert

Northern Regional

#1 Michael Vick vs #8 Rafael Palmerio

#2 OJ Simpson vs #7 Alex Rodriguez

#3 Maurice Clarett vs #6 Nate Newton

#4 Tonya Harding vs #5 Mark McGwire

Western Regional

#1 Ron Artest vs #8 Gus Frerotte

#2 Rae Carruth vs #7 Shawn Kemp

#3 Pete Rose vs #6 Tank Johnson

#4 Ricky Williams vs #5 Ryan Leaf